Break Up With Your Mind: Embrace Your True Self
The way to get right with the relationship you have with your body is to get right with your mind.
The Struggle with Body Image and Self-Criticism
This profound truth has been my guide. For years, I struggled with body image, trapping myself in a cycle of self-criticism and unhealthy behaviors.
It began innocently enough. In high school, my best friend casually mentioned her purging habits, and the seed of a dangerous idea was planted. I don’t remember the first time I succumbed, but I do remember the decade-long prison of disordered eating that followed. The skeletal frame, the constant obsession with food, the gnawing fear that my body was out of control. I was living in a matrix of my own making – an addiction where food, weight, and appearance dictated my self-worth.
My disordered eating wasn’t just about food, though; it was about a deep-seated distrust of my body, my instincts, and myself. I starved myself, over-exercised, and engaged in self-destructive behaviors, all in a desperate attempt to gain control of myself.
The cycle was relentless. I’d restrict, binge, then purge, experiencing a fleeting sense of relief followed by a wave of shame and self-loathing. That bloody knuckle, the aftermath of purging, became my twisted symbol of release. I didn’t know it then, but true relief wasn’t about escaping the consequences of my actions. It was about finding peace within my mind.
My battle was a classic case of ego-driven suffering. Obsessed with control, I was sabotaging my health. I was so focused on achieving the “perfect” body that I lost sight of the true essence of being human.
Recognizing the Pain Resides in the Mind
A pivotal moment came when I realized that the pain wasn’t in my body; it resided in my mind. I was battling an inner critic, a relentless voice that fueled my fear and self-doubt. It was time to break up with that voice.
I began to shift my focus. Instead of fighting against my body, I started to listen to it. I learned to recognize hunger as a signal, not an enemy. I began to prioritize self-care, nourish my body in healthy ways and engage in the things that brought me joy.
I broke up with my mind, and it was a radical change in my perspective. I stopped seeking the answer to disordered eating in external solutions and started looking within. I committed to finding joy in every moment, to embracing my body as it is.
Cultivating Self-Compassion and Trust
As I began to cultivate self-compassion and self-trust, the “problems” that had plagued me for so long began to fade away.
Are you struggling with body image or an eating disorder? Please know that you’re not alone. The key to healing from addiction of any kind lies in breaking free from the deception of your mind. Having survived, I realize the lessons I learned were invaluable, and I would love to walk with you as you discover healthy ways to trust yourself again.
I offer a free 15-minute phone consultation if you have questions about my approach and how it will work for you. If you are ready to break up with your mind, please schedule a session with me online or by calling (303) 688-6698.
Rachel Gordon, MA, MEd, is a registered psychotherapist in Castle Rock, CO. Her practice, Humble Warrior Therapy, serves patients in Denver, Parker and Colorado Springs.
Tags: body positivity, eating disorders, mental health recovery, mindful eating, self-care, self-love