Suffering | Letting Go | Castle Rock Counselor

You know that person who leaves you with a feeling of being better? They walk into the room and you instantly feel a sense of calm.

I am what I choose to hold onto.

I am.

Then there’s the person who is driving a little too fast behind you honking his horn. How do you feel when someone with road rage enters the picture?

I am what I choose to hold onto. 

I am.

Everyone is struggling – the person who exudes joy and the person who angrily lashes out. There is not a life on this earth that is free from pain. But the degree in which an individual suffers is a choice.

The epitome of suffering is when something displeasing happens and we become tied to the emotions around that event. Or, when we desperately crave the good times when they’ve gone. What we hold onto not only affects our own well-being, but the well-being of others around us.

Getting in a bad mood is suffering. Not getting our way is suffering. 

Here’s the truth, though. The pain of what is bothering us, if it’s happening in real life, does not last. If we are in the moment, in real time, the pain we experience will go away. Pain and pleasure are data points, but they do not last. Let them go.

The darker side of that truth is not letting go – suffering. If we don’t connect to our feelings right away, we will absorb them, carry them, wear them. When we tell a story in our heads, and believe it, that is the ego talking. It’s dangerous to listen to the ego and not acknowledge your actual feelings. That’s when we might cause harm to others. That’s when suffering becomes a problem.

If you are suffering at this time, here are some ways to cope with letting your emotions come and go in order to release suffering:

Practice a Yoga position. Any pose in which your head is below your knees, an inversion, is a calming pose. Yoga reminds us how to be present in our minds and bodies.

Try a breathing technique. One example I’m sharing in my newsletter this month is Bhramari Pranayama or Bee Breath. It is an inhale through the nose and exhale through the mouth with a humming noise like a bee would make.

Repeat this mantra: I am. The question to ask is who am I at this moment? How will my mood, what I choose to carry, affect the amount in which I will suffer? How will it affect others? It’s important that we not confuse our SELF (who I am) with our emotions (what I can let go of).

At the core of every human is basic goodness – it is inherent. Do not let the clouds of your emotions cover up the sun that radiates from you. 

Please contact Rachel Gordon  if you have questions about Buddhist psychology and integrative, holistic techniques to address mental health issues and promote total body wellness. If you live in the Denver/ Castle Rock area and would like to learn more about what Rachel has to offer through Humble Warrior Therapy, please call (303) 688-6698 or click here to schedule.